Happy TODDLERmas! Josiah Turned One!

This week marks the end of Josiah's infancy, and the beginning of his life as a toddler. This year has been a crazy roller coaster for all of us as a small family. For Josiah, for mommy, for daddy, for uncle Josh, for grandma, for nanay. 

When we were married, we decided that we would try to get pregnant right away. We knew there were many couples who, after trying, it took them 3 months 6 months one two three to ten years or more of trying until they were pregnant. For Rhea and myself, our years of fertility are limited but we want to have a large family with a lot of children and eventually a lot of grandchildren and great grandchildren. During these first few years, there is no other happiness or purpose that drives me more than to create an atmosphere at home where we can bring life into this family and where we can raise them, allowing Rhea to take care of them full time without having to worry about money. That's a very big and important decision, that we have held true to. One that has molded our family and decided the way that we spend our time and money. 

When we started trying to get pregnant, we were prepared for our first child whenever we would be blessed to get pregnant... but neither of us expected that it would work the first try! 

Josiah is our honeymoon baby, born 9 months and 4 days after our wedding!

When we found out we were pregnant, we were not in the most ideal situation to raise a family. But man did Josiah's coming put a fire into us to resolve to make our situation right. 

Before we were pregnant, I had gotten so ill that I had to drop out of two universities and many jobs. I found I was unable to keep a job that required me staying on my feet consistently throughout the year, because of my severe arthritis, I spend about one third of the year disabled, unable to walk and sometimes in extreme cases drive. I struggled with depression as I tried to make a way in life without 100% reliable legs, and had lost a lot of confidence and motivation. I tried as many odd jobs as I could, and right before Josiah, I had started a mobile appliance business that actually took more time and money out of me than what I got from it. I was determined to make it work even throughout the final phases of my courtship and engagement with Rhea. It wasn't until we found out Josiah was coming that I resolved to dissolve the business and find something that provided a more stable and sure income. Where I didn't have to drive all across northern Florida to chase after and find new customers.

I had two severe gouty arthritis attacks at the beginning of 2016... during both times I was unable to make money through my appliance transporting business. Once we were married and got pregnant, I applied to a recycling plant to sort recycling, Comcast to install cable, FedEx to pack tractor trailers full of packages, and Jacksonville Sheriff's Office to dispatch police. All other places were ready to hire me, but my mom and wife wanted me to hold out for JSO Dispatch. 

During this time after I dissolved the business, I was mowing lawns often times with Rhea, before we knew she was pregnant. I was virtually unemployed with no stable income, and we were living upstairs at my parents house and virtually had the upstairs, where we shared three rooms and two bathrooms with my grandmother. I was borrowing my parents car. We had really nothing to our names at this time. 

Around the time we found out we were pregnant, Rhea started getting really weak and almost passing out while we were mowing lawns. She went on a trip to visit an old mission companion in Washington DC where they passed 3 or 4 days eating very little, where Rhea, unaware she was pregnant, almost fainted again while they toured DC on only snacks for the time there and walking long stretches every day. The biggest hint to me was when she started hating the smell of chicken. We went to a member's house and had a fried chicken dinner there. As soon as we left, she threw up on the floor of the car. I knew that wasn't normal, and that something was up, but I didn't want to assume off of that that we were pregnant for sure. We got pregnancy tests to make sure.

The first one showed negative results... but after about an hour the test showed positive. On the instructions we are told to disregard if the test changes to positive after an extended period of time. On the second test, it showed positive. I was shocked. I didn't think it would happen so fast. I celebrated and marched around our room at my parent's house waving a small American flag that was on our desk and cheering. Mom of course was concerned about us having a child while not being financially prepared to raise one. 

The job offers came and they were all ready to hire me... but the months went on, and Josiah grew and grew in mommy's tummy, but still Mom and Rhea wanted me to hold out for JSO. 

One month, two months, three months four... five months... I had a typing test, a paperwork day, a polygraph, an interview, a psych evaluation all with about one month to six weeks in between each stage of the process. I was losing hope as I saw the other jobs close their offers as my answer was taking so long, but they still wanted me to hold for the job that paid the most, did not require me to be on my feet, and had the best family benefits.

Six months later I get a call from JSO that they were trying something new and having me start and just observe for about three weeks until we could get a bigger class. I gladly accepted and gave training everything I had. 

I studied day in and day out. It was October 2016 and Josiah was scheduled to join us by February. 

I trained for a few weeks and was placed with a new trainer. Sizzler eventually went on to be a patrol officer. On his last day with us in dispatch, I had to call out of work and bring Rhea to the hospital. 

We stayed there for so many hours, but I did not eat or sleep but stayed next to Rhea to support her during this great pain she was going through to bring Josiah into life. 

After we were well into labor, during the final hours... it appeared no progress was being made. I watched Rhea push and push, and though the nurses kept assuring her she was doing so well, there was obviously no progress as she pushed on with the encouragement of the nurses for several hours. My dad flew in to be there for the delivery and they came to the hospital and brought food. I finally felt relieved that we had others there. I was at about 60 hours with no food or sleep, so I was ready to get a bite to eat and take a quick nap. My dad looked at me like I was a crazy man and told me this was the time Rhea needed me the most. To not give up now as my wife was in active labor of my son, and I had to stick in longer to support her and help bring this baby to life. 

After that talk, something very integral changed in me. At that moment, I was starved and fatigued, deprived of sleep and feeling at the weakest that I've felt in my life. I was in the middle of a full blown gout flare with acid crystals in my joints tearing up my ankles and knees. I was unable to walk, but somehow I had driven my wife in labor to the hospital and leaning much of my weight on her wheelchair, I hobbled her around the hospital to where she needed to go. I was in severe pain, weak, and void of all energy and strength. But when I looked at my wife and the crown of Josiah's head peeking out, wanting to be brought completely into life, and I reflected on how many times Rhea so strong, asked for more epidural as her body could not stand any more pain even under the anesthesia. I was filled with a new strength that came not from my muscles or from the nourishment of food that I haven't had in days, the strength did not care about the crystals and stones that were tearing up my legs and weighing me down. I felt the gravity of what was happening and felt the first bit of super dad strength. After Josiah was born, I took care of him exclusively for the next 5 days to give my wife a rest and recovery from her ordeal. I took care of our son until I had to return to work on the next cycle. 

That was one year ago. 

Since then we've found a comfortable rhythm where I've come to work a lot of overtime to cover not only our bills, but to make and keep goals to progress in life, to enjoy things, and to save and prepare for the future. We first moved into a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom mobile home. But the trailer was without heat in the winter and the window air conditioning units were in poor condition where two of the rooms received no air conditioning, and we had to turn off the large main air conditioning unit in the kitchen anytime we needed to use the gas stove. The inconsistent temperature caused Josiah to get sick and luckily our landlord was understanding of our situation with the baby and let us break contract after only 3 months there. 

We moved into a house that was only two bedrooms one bathroom. But it was a house. A house with central heating and air, a laundry room (the other one had only a washer hook up we had to use in the mud outside). This house has a spacious yard and an electric stove. It was also 25 minutes closer to work. Not only this but it was the same price of rent as we were paying at the mobile home. And although there is one less room and one less bathroom than the trailer, everything is bigger in the house about double the space of the trailer. 

After finishing training in my job, I focused on finding ways to increase my mental and physical capacity to work as much overtime as possible, to put us in a situation to not require two incomes. I started back at the local state college all online rather than attending a class in person. This has become essential as I've been able to continue to study even when unable to walk to and drive to classes. I decided that even though I could not attend classes in person, I could still challenge my mind the best I can and finish my degree to be the best example I can as I know I'll want to eventually drive Josiah to do well in school and work towards post secondary education. 

Then this year the focus has been to recommit to exercising. Finding a routine that is sustainable that I could do everyday. Something that isn't too hard on my knee and ankles joints with strong foundations on exercises that I can mostly continue even throughout a gout flare. This winter, I've already ran my first ever race, and Rhea and I have another one scheduled for next month.

This year I added Josiah onto our full family healthcare insurance plan as well as life insurance. Both the healthcare and life insurance covers not only Josiah but all future children. 

This year we've been able to attend Universal Studios Orlando as a family. Mommy, Daddy and Sonny. Rhea and I also treated my brother to a night out to experience Lion King on tour at the Times Union Center. 

I rededicated myself to be active in my own religion, even through times of working every other weekend and through scheduled overtime even on my weekends off. To attend church as much as possible and to even attend the temple in Orlando regularly.

I resolved to keep our health and dental appointments all up to date now that we are all fully insured and the budget has room to take care of those essential needs. 

I have focused on maintaining our vehicle that my parents have gifted to me last year. 

Last year we paid off Josiah's delivery bill and all other debts. 

This year we are focusing on maintaining a simple, frugal, and organized life... full of love, family, spirituality, and happiness. 

All this has been done as I have striven to become the best father that I can be. To create a life that invites more life into this world. To maintain a home free of debt or trouble. To remain prepared for the future and whatever it may bring. 

This week my firstborn son turned one. Thank you Josiah for enriching your parents lives for the better.